Who wants to go to Austrailia?

[Hoodwinker]

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor

Date: Thu, 23 Nov 2006 11:12:23 -0500

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma

to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a \"gripe

sheet,\"which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The

mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and

then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are

some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked

with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance

engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an

accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel . Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget

[Rover the Top]

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

Not true.

[Dan]

[Hoodwinker]

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

Not true.

I'll take your word for it - I just copy/pasted from an email I recieved this morning, I just thought I'd share - I'm kind like that

[Phil]

[Dr Rover]

:-?

eh?

[Rover the Top]

:-?

eh?

Maybe Phil's on another spamming mission? It's the only thing I can think of...

[Dr Rover]

:-?

eh?

Maybe Phil's on another spamming mission? It's the only thing I can think of...

It seemed to me he was either confused by the post or he just didnt find it funny. I dont believe anyone is stupid enough to be confused by it and if he didnt find them funny, why post?

[Rover the Top]

:-?

eh?

Maybe Phil's on another spamming mission? It's the only thing I can think of...

It seemed to me he was either confused by the post or he just didnt find it funny. I dont believe anyone is stupid enough to be confused by it and if he didnt find them funny, why post?

Spamming mission.

Still, I think if you don't find them funny, then it's probable that you are just too stupid to understand them...

[Dr Rover]

:-?

eh?

Maybe Phil's on another spamming mission? It's the only thing I can think of...

It seemed to me he was either confused by the post or he just didnt find it funny. I dont believe anyone is stupid enough to be confused by it and if he didnt find them funny, why post?

Spamming mission.

Still, I think if you don't find them funny, then it's probable that you are just too stupid to understand them...

Probably

[Phil]

Lol you think I spam? You two are the ones who had a discussion alone on what my response meant I think by stating the lack of humour in a joke, the TC will try harder in future

[Rover the Top]

Discussion - noun

an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.

spam - noun

a disruptive, esp. commercial message posted on a computer network or sent as e-mail.

- verb

to send spam.

[Dr Rover]

Discussion - noun

an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate.

spam - noun

a disruptive, esp. commercial message posted on a computer network or sent as e-mail.

- verb

to send spam.

nuff said!

[Warren]

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

Not true.

[code][/code]

[Warren]

:-?

eh?